Rule Five
by hundan
Summary: Because when you find something good, you don't waste it.
_Hey guys._

 _I know I haven't been around for a very long time but my life is pretty full on with work and also study. On top of that I'm trying to write some original work which is what I normally work on. However with everything going on at the moment on NCIS I felt the need to give these two a bit of peace for once._

 _Hopefully GG actually gives some to them next week however we will see._

 _Always love,_

 _Danni._

* * *

The pain is tearing his heart to pieces.

The whisky bottle hangs from his loosening grip, he cannot handle this happening _again_. No, surely it's not. She's _not_ gone, it would feel much more worse than this. His soul would feel her departure.

He knows one thing, he needs to find her just like he did before and this time, this time he is never leaving her side again. Lying on the floor of his apartment with a half a bottle of whiskey left in his hand proves it, nothing in his life is worth not having her.

Maybe, just maybe it's time for him to leave Gibbs' team once and for all.

His mind starts spinning as he puts down the bottle and tries to stand. First things first he needs to figure out where she would be.

Shmeil?

One call to the older man tells him that he hadn't seen her in a few months however he was looking for her too after he saw the news. Shmeil's best bet was her Israeli safe house apartment she'd had since she was in the IDF. It's not on record and it's been that way since she brought it.

Tony cracked a small smile. Trust his ninja to have a personal safe house since she was eighteen.

He thanks Shmeil and tells him he'll keep in touch.

Next step he books a ticket to Israel.

He should call his boss but he figures if he leaves it till the last minute Gibbs won't be able to stop his departure. Not that the old man probably would but they are on a case that had higher priorities than finding Ziva. However his highest priority _was_ finding her.

He wakes up not sure if he was still drunk or half sober at four in the morning. However he figures the fourteen hour flight will sober him just fine.

He throws some things in a bag and holds on tight to the small golden chain in his grip. He knows she gave it to him but he wants nothing more than to return it to her and have her within his grip instead.

As he steps onto the plane the anxiety suffocates him, he's never felt such a pressure of desperation to find something in his entire life. He doesn't realise how bad he actually felt until a flight attendant asked him if he was feeling okay.

He must look like crap, because that's exactly how he feels.

He realises that he forgot to call his boss before leaving the second he turns his phone on. He has multiple missed phone calls from everyone on the team. Damn, he's going to receive so many head slaps for this one, which he doesn't need as his hairs thinning by itself fine enough.

He calls the boss man and awaits his fate.

"I guess you've landed?" was his statement. His voice was calm however Tony has a feeling he's holding his growl back. He must be deep in trouble for that to be the case.

"Yeah, sorry I forgot to call. How'd you know where I was?" Tony asked.

"It's not too hard to figure out when I find an empty whisky bottle next to your bed with a booking on your laptop for flights" he explained. Was that worry hanging on the edge of his bosses tone?

"I have to find her boss" he said gripping his temple. God his head felt like exploding and his eyes felt wet. "I've lost her too many times, I cannot handle it anymore" he whispered out. He's never been that honest to his boss.

"You let me know as soon as you find her" Gibbs replied, and yes that definitely was worry in his tone.

God he was a mess.

Maybe this was what it was like when you loved someone for so long and you cannot take lying to yourself anymore thinking that you can live without them.

He catches a taxi to a bus station and that bus to the small town that's scribbled down on his little note, he's surprised he can even read his own writing. He must have been drunker than he thought last night. He walks a few blocks to the address, making sure that no one is following him.

The last thing he wants to do is expose her if she's safe.

As soon as he feels he's not being followed he enters an old rundown apartment building and takes two flights of stairs up before he reaches the door that's numbered 43.

He knocks once, twice. He doesn't hear any movement inside and he waits patiently for two minutes. Maybe this wasn't where she was, but where else is he supposed to look?

He runs his hands down his face as the pain grips around his heart tighter. He should have _never_ let her go three years ago. He may never find her again, the world was a big place.

That's when his heart stops at the click of the door. He drops his hands and looks up to see _her_ face staring back at him. He doesn't know why he lunges at her and grips her so tightly that he's probably suffocating her, however for the first time in years his heart feels like it can breathe.

"I thought I was never going to find you" he whispers into her curls and her arms come around him and hold on tight, oh so tight. Like he's not the only one who never wants to let go.

"You always find me" she whispered back as her face nuzzled down into his neck. He could stand here all day and never want to move.

She slowly pulled back slightly and smiled softly at him. Her fingertips brushing the dampness from his cheeks.

"I thought… when I saw the farmhouse, I had to find you" he explained. His soul knew she wasn't gone but his mind couldn't be sure until he saw her. It's a deep pain to think someone you love is killed and he's had enough of thinking that context when it comes to her. He's surprised his heart hasn't failed on him yet.

"I've been safe here for about a week, I am unsure who it was that attacked the house" she said pulling him into her apartment and closing the door behind him. "You weren't followed?" she questioned, even though deep down she doesn't have to ask, she knows how good of an agent he is.

"No, no tail. I was taught by the best" he said and smiled at her. She returned that smile.

God she'd missed him.

Before he could think about what he was doing his bag was on the floor and his lips were on hers. He'd thought about kissing her again ever since he left her at the airport that day. He never wants to think about kissing her again, he wants to be able to do it. Forever.

"I will never forgive myself for leaving you behind" he whispers against her lips as her hands weave into his hair.

"It wasn't you who decided" she reminds him softly.

He leans his forehead against hers and looks down at her, his hand on her cheek.

"Well I'm deciding this time and I'm staying" he tells her, kisses her softly and steals her breath away.

"Tony –" she goes to argue his case however he knows exactly what she will say so he stops her.

"Gibbs doesn't need me anymore, he'll understand. I'm not getting any younger and I deserve to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love, even if I end up as a mailman. It's worth it. _You_ are worth it" he explained, only after did he realise he'd said the L word and nerves creeped up his spine.

Her eyes softened and this time it was her that had wet eyes.

"Rule five?" she smiled up at him. He chuckled lightly at her, she brings the light into his heart.

"You don't waste good" he said and then he kissed her again. His heart finally released all its tension, his anxiety faded away.

They were good, they will be good. What they have avoided for all these years was the one thing in both their lives that actually was good and made sense. Not that their relationship had ever made sense before, however that's only because they haven't been doing it right. He wants to love her like they both deserve and he will spend the rest of his life doing just that.

Because when you find something good, you don't waste it.

Coming from the wise words of the boss man himself.

He's loved her for a long time now and finally he will share that love with her, nothing in the world will hold him back this time.

His life choice is her.

Forever.


End file.
